The Scottish guide to kicking zombie ass

Scotland legend William Wallace would be the ultimate Scottish zombie slayer

Michonne has her katana...

William Wallace would have his sword...and this is just the hilt of it.

As you know, Dead Bastards is set in Glasgow. Well in Glasgow and in Scotland, we have special ways of dealing with zombies.

Hold on tight for a guide on how to kick some zombie ass (or, as we say in Scotland, arse).

This rancid wretch has just been the recipient of a Glasgow kiss

1. Stick the head in one (also know as the Glasgow kiss, stick the heid in him) this is a head butt with real venom. This is a real Scottish favourite. 

Just move your head back and wham, thrust it forward at high speed.

Pros - Fast and will immediately disable an opponent, including one of the undead.

Cons - It won't kill a zombie. You'll need to act quickly as one of the undead will clamber to their feet quicker than a regular person. Hey, they don't feel pain, remember. 

A chibbed zombie

2. Chib him/her.  
This means assault someone, usually by stabbing them with a knife, but it could also be a screwdriver. 

Pros - A knife can do a lot of damage to a festering walking corpse, if you play it right that is. Aim to stick it right in their eye or split the skull down the middle like it's a melon.

Cons - Close combat aint easy. You need to have balls to put down a walker. 

3. Kick the zombie up the arse/kick him up the bum.
A firm favourite with Glasgow folk this one.

Pros - No weapon required - just a clean pair of shoes.

Cons - You'll need to approach the shuffler from behind, so this is only useful if you’re wading in to help someone under attack. 

All he did was give him a wee slap

4. Give the zombie a wee slap.
 A master of the understatement this one, because in Glasgow a "wee slap" can mean a right battering (beating).

Pros - This involves using anything to hand to hit someone with, so it's perfect for zombies.

Cons - None. This is the real deal.

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